Is it not all the same? Surely, we all know how good it feels to share our problems with our friends; a problem shared is a problem halved. It’s true, and therapy offers similar relief to that experienced when sharing something with a trusted friend. There are some significant differences though. 

The fact that your conversations with your therapist are fully confidential enables some people to feel less inhibited and share more freely and honestly. This helps them get to the core of the issue. This is further enhanced by the fact that that your therapist is fully on your side, there to support you with no other agenda. 

Therapy is all about you, whereas friendship is reciprocal. Friendship takes into account both your and your friend’s needs and wants and finds compromises. Your relationship with your therapist being all about you can feel a little strange at the start, but this singular focus enables you to get to a higher level of detail and depth around your difficulties. It’s also important to add here that therapy cannot replace friendship. Having happy and healthy friendships in your life is likely to be really helpful to you if you choose to have therapy, because it offers additional support when you are taking that courageous but challenging step to face your problems. 

Another important difference is how your problems are received when shared. Your friend did not undergo rigorous training on how to handle and manage difficult issues and emotions and could easily become overwhelmed or defensive themselves, or even attempt to give you advice that may not be right for you. Qualified therapists are trained to be able to handle and hold the difficulties you are sharing in a way that is supportive to you. Additionally, they have the skills and knowledge to understand them clinically in a way that surpasses common sense and can use it to help enhance your own understanding. They also have evidence-based strategies and methods to help you actually address and process the overwhelming feelings, limiting beliefs or past trauma that may be impacting you.

Qualified therapists have spent a lot of time in therapy themselves so they can understand and overcome any personal issues and be able to focus on your wellbeing fully and exclusively. This is also very important because it means that your therapist knows the “lay of the land” they are guiding you through. They know how challenging it is and how vulnerable you might feel sometimes, because they have already walked this path. 

Another thing worth mentioning, is that research shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is the best predictor of positive outcomes, so it is useful to consider whether you have a sense of friendship and trust with your therapist, because this trust is essential and the bedrock upon which therapy is based.